Cheese and annoying people from Surrey pretending to be Londoners, can there be anything worse?

The bouncers are almost as bad as the clientele, impatient ignorant people with a chip on their shoulders.

As you can guess I had a very bad experience here and im generally very laid back, but this place made me very angry and I felt sorry for people who are regulars at this 'club'.

For these people trying to claw back to their university days, which were probably just filled with a SU playing the same cheese, it's time to open your eyes and ears to other things.

Most importantly stop trying to make SW london an extention of the mundane, culturally vacant home counties.

First, the good points. The queue moves quickly, some may suggest the door staff are impatient. And at a £10 entry it's not horrendous. Its 2 floors and relatively large. There's also multiple cloakrooms to cope with the expected numbers which is smart. And the bar staff are efficient. (Though I think a £12 minimum order to use a Debit Card is unusual)Now the Bad. Firstly, the customers. If you've seen any of the "Uncovered Ibiza" programmes you'll know what I mean when I describe this as a Lad and Ladette place. Lots of guys (in white shirts for the Blacklight to take effect) whose sole purpose is to get wrecked as soon as possible and roll around on the floor.

I expect to see a few in any busy establishment, but there was more than that! In most other places, the door staff use your paralytic behaviour as an excuse to (rightfully) eject you. Not here. Although the security were numerous and omni-present. I didn't see anybody being cautioned for drunken activities. And not one of the security seemed to care when a glass was thrown from one level to another.

Musically, the person with the CDs couldn't mix one track into another. It was classic, one track ends, another starts. He had a completely random selection of cds ranging from 80s cheese to current indie tracks. But unlike anywhere else you've ever been, you had no idea what was coming next as he wasn't sticking to one genre for any length of time. However, that didn't stop him from playing "Pjanoo" and "SexyBack" twice in the same hour.Oh and finally, the toilets were too small for the venue. Which just makes the whole experience unpleasent!

i think this is the best club in the world. Im going tonight and nothing could stop me from bopping the night away all night long to the best tunes in LONDON!! Love you all xx

This is the worse club ever!! Went there a few years ago and hated it. Returned the other week much against my better judgement. From the awful men in the queue, to the horrible people inside the club, this place sucked. Not even room to dance anywhere! Cannot believe I stupidly wasted money on this place - wouldn't go back if was paid to.

Please please update the music, why are there never any recent cheesy tunes to dance to, its all stuck in the 20th century! Cheese is still aroud dtoday too and after a while it starts to grade, and I just can not dance to most of the songs they play. Carpet does stink too.

its the ronseal of clubs.. not so much a club but a throwback from uni days. cheesy, letchy but doesnt pretend not to be!

Infernos is possible the worst club i have ever been to. The club smells like a septic tank on a hot day. The people you find in there are either sleazy....thiefs...or on poroll. They charge far to much for everything and the dj is in his late 70's so cant play any good music.
CRAP

Smokers beware! Infernos do not allow you to go outside for a cigarette and come back in. You have to pay the full admission again. This almost ruined a hen do but our smokers just managed with a nicotine free evening.

Aside from that, Infernos is a good cheesy night out and will have you bopping along. Great for a hen do.